When I had my very first chemo treatment, I had a reaction. I was just sitting there listening to my hubs talk to another patient getting his infusion. All of a sudden it felt like I had knives being shoved into my shoulders and in the small of my back. At first it was just a tingling feeling, but it quickly got worse. I reached over to hubs, said "get a nurse" and within a minute I had like 6 nurses, my doc, and hubs all standing over me. I was struggling to get a full breath in from the pain I was in. The nurses were administering tons of medicines to counteract the reaction and stopping the Taxol. And 5 minutes later I was all good.
My first chemo infusion was supposed to last a total of 3 hours, including blood draw, Dr visit, pre-meds, and Taxol infusion. We were there for 6. They had to start the Taxol slowly, and slowly increase it. Usually it takes 1 hour for it to drip in. They slowed it to 3 hrs. Man did I need to pee when that was over with!
But well, back to my point. Because of that, they jacked my steroid intake. It started out at 2.5 pills the night before, 2.5 pills the day of, plus 12mg of IV during. For two weeks. They changed it to 5 pills the night before, 5 pills the day of, and 12mg of IV during. I was on that for 6 freaking weeks! A total of 52mg of dexamethasone for 6 whole weeks. And it would have been longer had I not mentioned it to the PA during one of my visits.
One of the side effects of roids is swelling. I feel like the Michelin man I am so puffy. I haven't been this swollen since I was 8 months pregnant! Also, I am 90% sure, some of the blah I feel isn't from the chemo, but from withdrawals from the roids. I get it on Thursday and by Monday I always feel shaky, achy, and just completely wretched. But then Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and part of Sunday I feel fine. By Sunday evening, I start feeling like poo. And by Monday, well, lets just say another case of the Mondays just doesn't even touch it.
When this is all said and done, if I never have to take another steroid again I will be a happy happy lady!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Ectomy Schmectomy!
Ever since that call, surgery has been on my mind. Which one should I get? Which one will be better for me, for my family? I always said if I ever got breast cancer, I would just get a bilateral mastectomy and call it good. But that was before I actually got it. I thought I would be old. Or at least older. Not 25. Not still wanting to expand my family and breastfeed my babies. Its easy to say what you would do, until you actually are in that situation. I talked to my oncologist today. Dr. M. I asked him which surgery he would suggest, given my age and triple negative cancer, he said he would suggest a mastectomy. I knew that is what he would say. As an oncologist, his life is dedicated to getting rid of and preventing cancer.
I also asked him what my chance of recurrence will be. This depends on a few things. How the tumor responds to the chemo (if its all dead or close to being all dead, or if there is still a large portion of live cancer cells), if my lymph nodes are affected, and if it has spread according to MRIs. All of this we will find out in October/November before and after my surgery. If the tumor is all or mostly dead, there is no spread, and the lymph nodes are not affected, my chance of recurrence is 15%. If it has spread at all, lymph node involvement, or the tumor hasn't died, recurrence rate goes up to 50%. And from what I've read recurrence happens within the first 2 or so years.
I know what surgery I have is up to me. But I need to choose which will give me the best rate of survival. I have two sweet baby boys and a wonderful husband to think of. I've thought of just having a single mastectomy, so that i could breastfeed our non-existent future child(ren). I know that sounds ridiculous, but nursing my children has been one of the absolute best experiences of my life. In fact, ever since my diagnoses, the only time I have cried about having cancer is when I had to wean Little W. And it makes me incredibly sad that I may never nurse again. If I had been diagnosed 5 years from now, when we were done having children, I would choose bilateral in a heartbeat. I would have done lots of things differently. I probably would have done the clinical study as well, but one of the side effects is early onset menopause. I don't want to go through menopause at 25. I thought I had 20 years before I needed to worry about hot flashes and mood swings and mustaches.
Another issue with a mastectomy is reconstructive surgery. I would definitely want it. Including nipple conservation or reconstruction as well. I don't want to go the rest of my life looking like a 12 year old boy. Going with unilateral mastectomy I feel I would look lop sided. I also don't want to look like the uniboob from Kung Pow. And also, with reconstructive surgery, how long does it last? Will insurance cover it? Will I need surgery again in 10-15 years? Every 10-15 years? And how does one pick a good plastic surgeon? Should I start reconstruction at the time of my surgery? Wait? This is all overwhelming. And it all sucks.
I also asked him what my chance of recurrence will be. This depends on a few things. How the tumor responds to the chemo (if its all dead or close to being all dead, or if there is still a large portion of live cancer cells), if my lymph nodes are affected, and if it has spread according to MRIs. All of this we will find out in October/November before and after my surgery. If the tumor is all or mostly dead, there is no spread, and the lymph nodes are not affected, my chance of recurrence is 15%. If it has spread at all, lymph node involvement, or the tumor hasn't died, recurrence rate goes up to 50%. And from what I've read recurrence happens within the first 2 or so years.
I know what surgery I have is up to me. But I need to choose which will give me the best rate of survival. I have two sweet baby boys and a wonderful husband to think of. I've thought of just having a single mastectomy, so that i could breastfeed our non-existent future child(ren). I know that sounds ridiculous, but nursing my children has been one of the absolute best experiences of my life. In fact, ever since my diagnoses, the only time I have cried about having cancer is when I had to wean Little W. And it makes me incredibly sad that I may never nurse again. If I had been diagnosed 5 years from now, when we were done having children, I would choose bilateral in a heartbeat. I would have done lots of things differently. I probably would have done the clinical study as well, but one of the side effects is early onset menopause. I don't want to go through menopause at 25. I thought I had 20 years before I needed to worry about hot flashes and mood swings and mustaches.
Another issue with a mastectomy is reconstructive surgery. I would definitely want it. Including nipple conservation or reconstruction as well. I don't want to go the rest of my life looking like a 12 year old boy. Going with unilateral mastectomy I feel I would look lop sided. I also don't want to look like the uniboob from Kung Pow. And also, with reconstructive surgery, how long does it last? Will insurance cover it? Will I need surgery again in 10-15 years? Every 10-15 years? And how does one pick a good plastic surgeon? Should I start reconstruction at the time of my surgery? Wait? This is all overwhelming. And it all sucks.
Monday, July 23, 2012
Week 8
Well, after my first post, my computer decided it didn't want to connect to the internet. So now that it is working again, lets try this blogging thing again!
Currently I am in week 8 of my chemo treatments. That means I have completed 8 infusions. I am finally off all my extra dexamethasone they put me on after my first treatment. I had a rough time that day. So they gave me a ton of extra roids to prevent more allergic reactions. So for the last 7 weeks I was on 52mg of dex a week. And so I would go through tiny withdrawals each week by the time Wednesday would roll around. Monday and Tuesday I would have random shakes, feel like utter crap and just want to crawl into a hole. Now I am only on 12mg of dex/week. So much better. I feel much better on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesdays.
I am pretty puffy all over. My hands and feet look like I am 8 months prego. I also have a bloody nose most days. I have never in my life had a bloody nose. Until a few weeks ago. Now I get them daily. My blood levels are good though. Platelets are actually high. And all my other levels are within normal range. This is great. I know that when I start the A/C chemo my levels will drop, so being high or normal now while on Taxol is fantastic!
I am 3/4 of the way done with my Taxol treatment. 8 out of 12. Then I start A/C. I am super nervous about A/C. From what I've read and my oncologist has told me, its going to be rough. So we will see how that goes in 5 weeks. Then I will have an infusion one time every two weeks. For a total of 4 infusions, over 8 weeks. Then I will be donezo with chemo. And then I get to get testing done and decide on a surgery.
Surgery has been on my mind lately. I think my next post will be on that.
Currently I am in week 8 of my chemo treatments. That means I have completed 8 infusions. I am finally off all my extra dexamethasone they put me on after my first treatment. I had a rough time that day. So they gave me a ton of extra roids to prevent more allergic reactions. So for the last 7 weeks I was on 52mg of dex a week. And so I would go through tiny withdrawals each week by the time Wednesday would roll around. Monday and Tuesday I would have random shakes, feel like utter crap and just want to crawl into a hole. Now I am only on 12mg of dex/week. So much better. I feel much better on Monday and Tuesday and Wednesdays.
I am pretty puffy all over. My hands and feet look like I am 8 months prego. I also have a bloody nose most days. I have never in my life had a bloody nose. Until a few weeks ago. Now I get them daily. My blood levels are good though. Platelets are actually high. And all my other levels are within normal range. This is great. I know that when I start the A/C chemo my levels will drop, so being high or normal now while on Taxol is fantastic!
I am 3/4 of the way done with my Taxol treatment. 8 out of 12. Then I start A/C. I am super nervous about A/C. From what I've read and my oncologist has told me, its going to be rough. So we will see how that goes in 5 weeks. Then I will have an infusion one time every two weeks. For a total of 4 infusions, over 8 weeks. Then I will be donezo with chemo. And then I get to get testing done and decide on a surgery.
Surgery has been on my mind lately. I think my next post will be on that.
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